verse

Poor Bill O'Reilly! He needs Christmas cheer.
For he's full of bile and venom this year.
He looks down upon us from his high, red nose,
He just doesn't like us. It's not just a pose.

Oh Bill O'Reilly! He sneers down on all.
His head is so big, but his heart is so small.
His burden is being a judge of all men.
He's so disappointed again and again.

Mad Bill O'Reilly! For him we must pray.
There's not enough holy in his Holiday.
He wants us to share Christian love, he has said,
Or he will come down and bust all our heads.

Sad Bill O'Reilly! There's hope for him yet.
You reap what you sow and you give what you get.
He's stuck in his hate rut, he can't break away.
So love Bill O'Reilly on this Christmas Day.

"Oh why oh why do you oppose John G.?

He seems so perfectly able to me."

Aye, he is able because of his mind.

He's smart as a tack, he seems like a find.

Yet he is also successful by tongue.

He talks up a song like a bell has been rung,

You don't realize that the content's been wrung

From those answers he gave 'til your sight is of hind.

"Oh why oh why do you oppose John G.?

He seems to be rather moderate to me."

Aye, he seems like a nice guy to know,

Though I wonder, was it all just a show?

The men who want government to rule over

Women's wombs are happy. (So's Grover.)

The radicals seem like they're rolling in clover.

What do they know? And why do they crow so?

"Oh why oh why do you oppose John G.?

A Yes now means stronger No votes yet to be."

Aye, there are many who say that, I see.

But it doesn't make all that much sense to me.

If would-be Chief Justice sails right on through,

Then what is Bush-Rove-Norquist likely to do?

It seems easy confirmation is a cue

To name a wingnut like Janice R.B.

Although it seems that maybe the next nominee

Will be none other than Alberto G.

Who with our John G. say that our own Camp G.

Is hunky dory, constitutionally.

"Oh why oh why do you oppose John G.?

He answered the questions so reasonably."

Aye, he seemed reasonable, but, you see,

His answers don't bind him. As with Clarence T.

No matter what in the hearings he vows,

In Justice chambers his power allows

Him to change willy nilly how much he bows

To precedents like equality

And privacy

And liberty.

"Oh why oh why do you oppose John G.?"



He seems to be hiding the real John G.

And that's an impression held not just by me.