Christmas tree

'Tis the season for cries of religious persecution. Yes, once again we get to hear how America is a land where Christians are persecuted.

The latest offender: the radical right's favorite big box store, Wal-Mart.

The Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights criticized the world's largest retailer and called for a boycott over Wal-Mart's approach to Christmas.

"We want a) an apology for insulting Christians by effectively banning Christmas and b) a withdrawal of its insane statement regarding the origins of Christmas and c) a revision on its website," Catholic League President Bill Donohue said on the group's Web site.

In an interview, Donohue dismissed Wal-Mart's statement that it was respecting multiple beliefs as "corporate arrogance."

"If Wal-Mart, which is the family-friendly institution, gets away with this, then all the other department stores will just fall into line," he told The Associated Press on Thursday.

The dispute erupted after a Wal-Mart worker responded to a woman who complained that the company was replacing "Merry Christmas" with "Happy Holidays." The response described Christmas as a combination of world traditions from Siberian shamanism to Visigoth calendars.

Yes, because the mark of true faith is to deny that Santa Claus (aka Kris Kringle) is actually a pagan figure dressed up to play in a Christian winter holiday, and deny that any and all other faiths are entitled to any holiday celebration anywhere near December 25th or the 45 shopping days that precede it.

The Pope has an exclusive, you see. (Just don't tell the Protestants.)

Wal-Mart, realizing it's selling stuff, not truth, knuckled under.

Fogleman said Thursday that Kirby no longer worked for the company.

"We at Wal-Mart believe this e-mail between a temporary associate and one of our valued customers was entirely inappropriate. Its contents in no way represent the policies, practices or views of our company. This associate, who was hired less than three weeks ago, is no longer employed by our company," Fogleman said in an e-mail to the AP.

That's mighty Christian of you, Wally World!

Another way to read this:

A couple more years of this hysteria and the use of "Merry Christmas" as shorthand for, "I hate you and everything you stand for because you didn't pass my Christian sniff test, hellbound motherfucker," and people will start actually flinching when they hear the words "Merry Christmas".

I wonder what they think about the upside-down Christmas trees at Target.

Meanwhile, God-insider Pat Robertson, who's always up on the Heavenly gossip, warned that Dover, Pennsylvania can expect holy retribution.

Religious broadcaster Pat Robertson warned residents of a rural Pennsylvania town Thursday that disaster may strike there because they "voted God out of your city" by ousting school board members who favored teaching intelligent design.

All eight Dover, Pa., school board members up for re-election were defeated Tuesday after trying to introduce "intelligent design" - the belief that the universe is so complex that it must have been created by a higher power - as an alternative to the theory of evolution.

"I'd like to say to the good citizens of Dover: If there is a disaster in your area, don't turn to God. You just rejected him from your city," Robertson said on the Christian Broadcasting Network's "700 Club."

Pat Robertson offers his oracle services to benefit the community. His organization accepts checks, money orders, major credit cards and your child's piggy bank.

Happy Holidays!