Can you see the crocodile tears?

WASHINGTON - President Bush, under pressure to do something about gasoline prices that are expected to stay high through the summer, ordered an investigation into possible cheating in the markets. The government also asked states on Tuesday to guard against unfair pricing.

The failed Texas oilman president shocks us with such behavior. Why? Here's what they say:

Asked if Bush had any reason to suspect market manipulation, McClellan responded, "Well, gas prices are high right now, and that's why you want to make sure there's not."

Uh huh. But maybe that's not the whole story.

Republicans who control Congress have become concerned that the high cost of filling up could become a problem for them in the November elections. Polls suggest that voters favor Democrats over Republicans on the issue, and Bush gets low marks for handling gasoline prices.

Thou shalt not price gouge in an election year. Senator Bill Frist, bitten by investigations into his financial dealings, not to mention his alternative-reality declarations on Terri Schiavo and AIDS transmission, offered his own diagnosis:

"There is no silver bullet," Frist said Tuesday on ABC's "Good Morning America," but "we need to make sure that any efforts at price-gouging be addressed and addressed aggressively." Meanwhile, Frist said, consumers should take steps to conserve gasoline — drive at slower speeds, tune up car engines for maximum efficiency and carpool.

Why, Bill, you sound like a ... Democrat!

Not to be outdone, the Democratic leadership called for even more:

Senate Democratic leader Harry Reid of Nevada dispatched his own letter, calling for a multi-pronged approach to restrain gas prices. Among the steps were swift enactment of anti-price gouging legislation, an appeal to oil companies to refrain from further price increases, use of more alternative fuels and increased attention to existing fuel-saving laws and regulations.

Nuanced, perhaps. But for a man without much power, it doesn't quite ring as a clarion call to get out the vote for Democrats in November.

Still, rising gas prices could be a win-win all around: the international oil companies get to make huge profits, their executives get retirement packages worth more than what most American families make in ten lifetimes, Republicans get to puff up their feathers and posture about something besides their unpopular forced-pregnancy agenda ... and the Democrats are positioned to gain, no matter how much they fumble and bumble and bungle in their political strategy.

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