It’s impossible to think about your age, and not think about what you have and haven’t accomplished. I always think that at age 23 I should have accomplished at least 22 fabulous things, (allowing myself to be unfabulous solely so that I could learn to crawl.) I feel like I'm behind schedule. I remember when I was a freshman in college and bell hooks (huge black feminist author woman) became my Shero, and all I kept thinking about was how she had published her first book at age 19, and how I had better hurry up! I fundraised, and begged, and persuaded my way to raising enough money to bring her to speak at my school. I had the privilege of introducing her speech, and she commented that that was the best introduction she had ever gotten. I was beaming! You have to understand how much I idolized this woman!

And then came the blow.

She said something that was terribly complimentary about me, but then put me on blast in front of about 250-300 people because I wasn't "happy to be nappy." So what did I do? I just laughed and took it like a woman. It was a pretty cold thing to do, but I was waaay too deep in my Shero worship to acknowledge how much it bothered me.

Me and a few of my co-workers who had helped raise funds went to dinner with her after her speech. I remember being so excited and yet so nervous about what I would say to her. On some level, I wanted her to see how great a black feminist warrior I was, and what wonderful things I was doing, and how inspired I was by her writing, and at the same time I didn't want to say or do anything that she would disagree with-- I mean she had already chided me about my relaxed hair. I was just too absorbed in what I had built this woman up to be, to even be myself. It wouldn't have mattered anyway.

At dinner she seemed like it was a task to talk to the students at the table. And the brief moment of conversation that she had with me centered around whether or not there was a man in my life.

I felt so let down! Like everything I'd thought the movement was was false. Here I was with this black feminist icon, whose writing had inspired and educated so many people, but who in person had insulted and diminished a budding young mind, in exactly the way that her writings taught people not to do.

Now, I’m not saying that bell hooks doesn’t have amazing views to give to the world. She does.

But Shero worship is a dangerous thing. Because no matter how amazing someone seems in writing, or how charismatic a speech they give, or how good a game they talk, in the end everybody is just an ordinary old human being-- with their own fears and insecurities, judgments and mistakes. When you put someone up on that kind of a pedestal, where they become an icon, and not a whole person, it's only a matter of time before it comes crashing down. If you're lucky, you realize sooner rather than later that the only thing that separates you from your Shero is you.

People become our Sheroes because they inspire us, because some segment of the world has recognized their talents as special and unique. And ultimately, we worship them because we feel that they are something that we can’t be. The truth is, there’s nothing our Sheroes are doing that we couldn’t do, with a little creativity, ambition, perseverance and elbow grease.

So, with my creativity, ambition, perseverance, and elbow grease in hand, I’m off to accomplish 21 more fabulous things.