Reprint from The-Goddess: Part I. of III.

In a previous post I criticized a young writer for beginning an article about feminism by rudely dismissing the the concept of Matriarchy and disparaging those of us who advocate it. Here are his exact words:

'Rational feminists strive only for the equality of women, nothing more, and certainly nothing less. There are fanatics and zealots who would replace the patriarchy with a matriarchy, but every group of people has a whack-job fringe. Do we judge all Christians by the actions of Fred Phelps or Jerry Falwell?"

My inference from this is that Ryan considers me to be “irrational” and that I am a fanatic, zealot and a member of the “whack-job fringe” because I would, indeed, prefer a Matriarchal system to the current Patriarchy. My reply was that his attitude constituted bigotry, and posed the following question:

It's an egalitarian, life-affirming system that values peace and justice; promotes fairness and Green values; and opposes racism, sexism, colonialism and all forms of slavery or oppression. Exactly which of those values makes me a fanatic, zealot or whack job?

He never answered my question, but he did send a response:

Hi Morgaine,
This is Ryan Fette. If you are surprised that this "bigoted statement" made it into a college newspaper, you should read some of the other editorials that have made their way into the opinion page.
I'm also rather shocked that someone who follows such an "egalitarian, life-affirming system that values peace and justice; promotes fairness and Green values and opposes racism sexism, colonialism and all forms of slavery or oppression" would be so quick to attack another person who is trying-and I might add that it is a very difficult feat in the state of Nebraska-to create a world similar to the one that your own Women's Religion is striving towards.
My definition of matriarchy is a political system in which women have power over men and members of other gender groups. Power over is the enemy of equality. I see matriarchy equally as dangerous as patriarchy. Anytime an individual or culture comes to the conclusion that one gender is better than the others, the inequality begins. The correct answer is to remove the need for one gender to be superior to the others.
Furthermore, I work in the Women's Center at UNL. I fight for the rights of women everyday. I direct women to information about their reproductive health, help them to find recourse in cases of discrimination, and help survivors of sexual assault and domestic violence find the legal and psychological recsources they need to put their lives back together.
I'm also a Wiccan and as such I worship a very female Goddess as well as a very masculine God.
May the New Year find you well,
Ryan Fette

I don’t want to treat his indignation lightly. In fact, I applaud his attempts to defend himself as a feminist. While I don’t know him personally, he does open the door for a discussion of what I see as the major problem of the Wiccan community. It’s a great blessing that he works to help women who have been victimized. I just want him to understand the forces behind that violence so he can fight it rather than unconsciously reinforce it. I demand more of him because he’s Wiccan, not less.

First, he tells me he’s not as bad as some of the others. That’s a shoddy defense for any behavior. Then he says he is shocked that I attacked him. No, I objected to being called a zealot, extremist, etc. and challenged his statement. Comparing me to Jerry Falwell is not going to get you on my good side. Ryan initiated the attack in an attempt to convince his readers that he was “normal” in a way Matriarchists are not. He also says I should give him a break because he’s in Nebraska and he wants a world similar to the one I am striving towards. Being in Eastern Kentucky, I am not insensitive to the special problems of dealing with rural populations. As for the similarity of our goals, we’ll see about that as I continue.

He then gives me “his” definition of matriarchy. What he gives is not, in fact, a definition of matriarchy but rather the lies put forth by patriarchal sources to tap into men’s primal fear of feminine power. It’s the stuff of Science Fiction and the Old Testament and has nothing to do with Archeology or Feminist Theory. I don’t care how many dictionaries one cites. Dictionaries and text books are produced by the Dominant Culture. Academia is a patriarchal institution. I will not allow the patriarchy to dictate my speech, nor will I choose to define myself by labels that were formed without our consent - at a time when we were, and are, an "occupied" people.

My definition of Matriarchy is derived from a lifetime of studying the works of Feminist Scholars- Mary Daly, Elizabeth Gould Davis, Merlin Stone, Eileen Morgan, Barbara G. Walker, Z. Budapest and Starhawk. It is what I believe from my research to be a reflection of true matriarchal values. Ryan is a product of the dominant culture and through no fault of his own has not been educated to distinguish between the two concepts. The only images of Matriarchy we get in this culture are sci-fi movies with evil women oppressing men*. Sorry, but oppression and violence aren't necessary unless you've got a "might makes right" ethic that allows you to enslave other peoples and cultures. This is not about domination. It’s about biology.

He goes directly into the language of domination and opposition. Again, that’s a patriarchal construct. I don’t believe in “opposite” sexes. I believe in the first sex/gender, which is “female”, and a younger sex/gender derived from it which is “male”. This is not an either/or situation. There are more than two genders in our natures - hence the “T” in “LGBT”. Polarity is an artificial construct that has Witches running around espousing “equality” as if that has anything to do with nature. Fairness and equality are political ideals that I support, but they are abstractions that have little to do with reality. Too often they imply “sameness” and we simply aren’t the same. They are concepts I want in my government, but I don’t look for them in the natural world. Nature never works in even numbers or nice neat formulas. (No, I don’t consider Mandelbrott Fractal Geometry nice and neat though it is formula.) The “balance” that seekers run around trying to achieve is stasis. It stagnates. It’s death. Life is messy. It ebbs and flows. It has rhythm and pattern that varies in myriad wonderful ways. She is alive, not a cold, dead machine.

His final line is the most disturbing to me: “I'm also a Wiccan and as such I worship a very female Goddess as well as a very masculine God. ”

The question is, do you worship an effeminate God, and a butch Goddess as well? Are you stuck in the typical “Wild father/Bona Dea” trap that far too many Wiccans fall into? Is your pantheon reinforcing gender role stereotypes? The God and the Goddess in Wicca are NEVER equal, nor should be the High Priestess and High Priest. The Goddess comes first, and everything is born of Her. The Lord is Her consort, Her lover, Her brother or Her son, but he is never Her equal or Her superior. In Wicca, as in life, The first “couple” is a mother and a child, not a man and a woman. Have you ever invoked a Sun Goddess? A Moon God? Do you ever speak to our Mother alone? or do you require a “chaperone” with horns?

I am adamantly opposed to the PC cop-out that deity is male and female in equal portion. Look at Nature, which always favors her own gender. Why should the Divine be any less feminine than the living world?

*With the notable exception of one modern Outer Limits episode I described here

End of Part I