2 August 2005 - 1:54pm
As if having to work to survive were a choice
Like so many other mothers, I learned that I was supposed to encourage and celebrate my female child -- to a fault. Just how big a fault became apparent when I spoke with college-age women -- many of them the product of a similarly rosy-hued upbringing....
Their confident, ambitious energy was impressive; they couldn't wait to hit the job market. It didn't occur to them that anything could stand in the way of success on their own terms. After all, the barriers to entry had been toppled long ago. As one coed told me flippantly, "Back then -- when there were dinosaurs -- people just did bad stuff to women."
These students planned on becoming wives and mothers as well as high-earning professionals, but they had no idea how hard this can be. Perhaps having watched us wrestle, they didn't buy into the having-it-all myth of our early careers. But their vision of the future was clouded by a new kind of pipe dream, one filled with fantastically enlightened employers who would make work/life balance a breeze.
In response, Amanda says:
I was going to parody this but it wears me out. The saddest part is you open it up and it claims that they've discovered this "new" trend of women thinking they can have it all. Want something new? Write a story lamenting how men think they can have a career and a family at the same time.
The thing is that reality increasingly sucks when it comes to trying to live in this Bush economy.
Show me a woman who is not working by choice, and I'll show you a woman who does not have to confront the work vs. family balancing act.
The simple fact is that we women must work to survive. Whether we're part of a family requiring two or more full-time incomes to get by, or getting by on our own, we have to work.
In that context, I think Hewlett's dead-on: Don't be expecting any favors from corporate America. The system is rigged against you. If you take time off from work to have kids, the odds are way against your ever getting back on the same career track.
So you know what? Fuck dreams! This is fucking reality we're talking about here. Get behind change politically, but don't expect Daddy Warbucks to have any sympathy for your family concerns.
As Hewlett reports:
With funding from Ernst & Young, Goldman Sachs, and Lehman Brothers, I did a national survey of 2,443 women age 28-55: highly qualified women (those with graduate degrees and high honors undergraduate degrees), with results published in the March 2005 Harvard Business Review. More than a third had stopped working for some period of time; 25 percent more took "scenic" routes (flexible or reduced-hour options). Almost 60 percent described their careers as "nonlinear," and childcare wasn't the only reason they'd left their jobs -- 24 percent off-ramped because of an eldercare crisis.
As for the ease of these transitions, well, here's where the dream begins to curdle.
While 93 percent of the women surveyed had every intention of going back to work after their time out, only 74 percent actually did so (and among those, less than half returned to full-time, mainstream careers). They off-ramped for an average of 2.2 years -- the same time frame the college students envisioned for themselves. But this little detour cost women 18 percent of their earning power, and that figure leapt to a staggering 37 percent if they took three or more years off. And I'm not just talking dollars here. Nonlinear female careers often lead to a downsizing of ambition, as well -- especially among respondents age 41-55 who'd taken time out. They saw that they lost traction in the job market, and downsized their expectations accordingly.
So what's the answer?
Hewlett uses her MSN soapbox to toot her own horn:
So what's the answer? After my '04 survey, I created the Hidden Brain Drain Task Force to try to find solutions everyone could live with. Nineteen global corporations have signed up so far, and they've identified several critical ways to keep talented women of all ages on the career highway. The fact that more companies seem ready to have this conversation, and even begin to make changes, is an encouraging sign.
The next generation of working women can help make this happen by voting with their feet and seeking out employers that offer support on the work/life front. But they can't solve problems they don't see. Clearly, it's time we midlife mothers, sisters, friends, and colleagues did more in the way of truth-telling. What really tripped us up, and what got in the way of us realizing our potential?
Yeah, that's nice.
What also can be done is enacting some real pro-family laws that protect parents' jobs when they take leave for family. Even unpaid leave would be an improvement. The bullshit the right wing tries to push on us that they dare to call "pro-family" doesn't address any of this reality. How about helping real families -- with children already born -- make ends meet, instead of defending a system that cripples (mostly) mothers' ability to earn, impoverishes families and takes food off the table.
What about that, Senator Santorum? Or do you insist on clinging to the delusion that mothers can actually afford to stay home and not work?
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Comments
Corporate America and other segments of the political landscape say they value the family and women and babies. A woman can have it all. Now all we need is a 37-hour day and we're set.
What I see is when a woman has been out of the corporate track for a while, or if she has followed a mate around the country in a two career family, or there are gaps when she was care for the kids, these "lapses" go against her.
Corporations are bottom line oriented. They are run by tough managers whose jobs depend on performance.
Two candidates appear for a job. Both have impressive credentials. One had 20 years of uninterrupted work experience - a man. The other has a more checked resume where compromises were made in anticipation of the unveiling of the 37-hour day.
Who gets the job?
Well, the "most qualified" one.
Seriously, and all politics aside as to what should be right, who is the more qualified? Twenty years uninterrupted experience, or 13 years with gaps?
Even though questions such as "what for of birth control do you use," or "what if you become pregnant" are now off limits, the result is the same.
And in my experience, the smaller start-up firms are much better at dealing with this sort of resume than the large firms with slick ads about how they are for diversity and equality. They are for equality. Two equally qualified people - one who has not been pregnant and one who has, the one who has not been is the one who gets ahead.
This is a tough thing to get across to a daughter no matter how much we celebrate and encourage her - even to a fault.
I question the assumption that uninterrupted work history makes someone a better employee. What if men and women both took time off from work here and there to raise kids, take care of parents, travel, go back to school, write a novel? What if we dropped our ridiculous cultural expectation that people should work uninterrupted from the day after college graduation to the age of retirement?
I think corporations would discover that extra-curricular breaks in career often make someone a BETTER employee when they return to the job market. The benefits of such things as travel and education are obvious, but even childcare can teach you great patience and people management skills. What if corporations did some research on the value of it before dismissing it as "not a job and therefore a worthless pursuit"?
Sometimes it's the psychology report. Or the credit report. Or the criminal background check.
But I think a lot of managers don't like the idea of hiring anyone who has a life with other priorities. They want someone totally beholded to them.
It's stupid, but aside from the corporatocrats, who says American corporations are models of effective business management?
I agree with BetaCandy and Media Girl. Corporations ought to be more enlightened. True faith and alligiance is everything and any activity that is not in keeping with that is viewed with suspicion.
I've seen a few interesting phenomena:
1) While I was studying for the bar and when my SO was studying for the GMAT, we noticed that a local coffee shop hosted a group of expectant and recent mothers who met daily or weekly. These expectant and recent mothers, from what we could tell, were lawyers, businesswomen, and other professionals, and despite their absence from the workforce, they were still networking. I assume this behavior has been replicated across the country. Could this morph into a good ol' girl network that can transform the workplace in the next generation?
2) Every so often, I read about a woman who, when she cannot find a satisfactory job after returning to the workforce after an absence for family reasons, instead starts her own business. Could these businesses, in the long term, become truly family-friendly workplaces?
3) The husband of my SO's former workplace supervisor is a stay-at-home father, and I understand that the ranks of stay-at-home fathers are growing. In the long term, does this mean that stereotypical gender roles can be laid to rest?
--|PW|--
What we have with corporate America is a culture that values what the "traditional male" could offer -- years and years of uninterrupted service, working overtime and weekends if necessary.
Add in family time and corporate America is not happy. I don't think a stay at home dad is going to have an easy time of finding work after missing 5+ years of career time. But it's nothing compared with a woman who's trying to return to the workforce.
It's almost as if mothers are seen as unable to have careers. It's ironic, since most of the successful women in their 50s and 60s are indeed mothers. Yet this closed-mindedness towards women who've previously taken themselves off of the tracks persists. They want the woman to throw herself on the tracks.
There's also the problem of women who are not sex objects tending to be invisible. And women who have sex appeal are not taken seriously. You can't win for losing. A lot of that is just that it's all new. Condi had to take all the talk about her boots because nobody in that role had done that before. But will the next female Secretary of State under 45 receive the same scrutiny? Probably not.
It's telling that Condi did not break the race barrier for this cabinet position, and we did not hear much racial contexting of her appointment. But she did break a barrier that Madeleine Albright did not -- the young woman barrier.
Rather than confront these attitudes, a lot of women do end up starting up their own businesses. They do it out of disgust with the corporate culture, distaste for the macho competitiveness of the business world, frustration at the kinds of jobs they are getting offered, and desperation because a glowing resume does not seem to outweigh age bias in human resources departments.
Personally I think that many men find age 40+ women intimidating -- especially if they are well qualified women. And to be honest, many young women just cannot relate to "older" women. The generation gaps do cross gender lines.
Online is where we see a real difference there. Our ages become less important and who we are and what we say and believe count for a lot more.
I'd like to be optimistic about the future, but right now, in this political climate, where US Senators, Congresspersons and executive branch leaders are openly calling for the enslavement of women, openly blaming feminists for all the woes we face, and openly calling for a patriarchal theocracy -- a Christian-branded Taliban -- I cannot feel more than cautious hope that cultural evolution through generations will improve things.
What the frack does Battlestar Galactica have to do with this thread?
We'll I had a surprisingly emotional reaction to last night's episode of Battlestar Galactica
I also had an emotional reaction to the film "Courage Under Fire."
Will men be led by woman.
I suppose officers get fragged (assassinated by their own troops) more than is admitted, but a third of the Union Officers in the American Civil War were shot in the back - often attributed to the unbelievable fire fights the two sides engaged in.
Yet women remain tokens or in the shadow of men.
A nation that will not allow its women to fight in combat does not believe a woman is qualified to led troops and the job of the Commander-in-Chief will be one that will remain "men only."
Your reference to the generation gap reminds me of Y2K -- when a number of COBOL programmers, long put out to pasture (often at the local Radio Shack) were suddenly recalled to service because they were the only people who knew how to rewrite those old non-Y2K compliant programs.
But that's neither here nor there. I do think there's an element of intimidation/fear in there. God knows that in the workplace, I react differently to, say, a 25-year-old woman than to a 50-year-old woman. Discriminatory? Perhaps. Wrong? Perhaps. But for whatever reason, that's how a lot of people react.
Back to the subject, though. I do think that in the long run, the woman-owned businesses are going to be the great equalizers. If women who have left the workforce for years are truly as qualified as individuals (such as non-childbearing men) who stayed in the workforce, then those who decline to hire "mommy track" graduates will sit up and take notice when these small, women-owned firms steal their customers.
--|PW|--