Expected behavior on mediagirl.org

Comments

6 comments posted
So

If someone says something I said is "an evil fucking lie" for example would that.... I guess it only counts as disrespectful if I say it, huh?

The thing is media girl every site that bans people for political reasons says that they ban for other reasons. It's easy to pick a fight with the person you want gone (usually just happens by itself) and then of course only ban the person whom you disagree with.

I wish I had a dollar for every feminist site where the rules get "updated" shortly after I post. I'd have like... maybe $10. Ok I wish I had $100 for each site.......

Nobody in particular should take this as a personal warning

Right.

Look if you think I or anyone else is being rude then just speak to that person instead of making up a "rule". Ask Morgaine about how "consensus" is more "matriarchal". If you're a fair moderator people want to help you out. Don't make people into the "enemy". And if you really do just want to ban me then for heaven's sake just do it without all this. You won't offend me.

I'll just be really really upset :(

Still you can always visit me at Bump

DavidByron's picture
Posted by DavidByron on 6 March 2005 - 1:28am
Sorry

I don't see how it's your place to tell me how to run my site. That strikes me as rather presumptuous of you, David Byron.

The fact is that men have participated in spirited discussions here in the few months this site has been up, and none of them prompted me to post any terms of service notices. If you're finding that people are doing this in response to you, I suggest that you consider the possibility that it is your behavior that is the problem, and not the site admins who choose not to tolerate such juvenile postings.

media girl's picture
Posted by media girl on 6 March 2005 - 1:37am
Of course

You only have to ban people who know their stuff.

DavidByron's picture
Posted by DavidByron on 6 March 2005 - 2:18am
Oy

Civitas. De Civitas Dei. Re: Citizen, Duty and rights of. A civil society is best measured by how civil it is. Not when times are cheery and easy. Society is measured by how it responds to stress,hard stress. These blogs and comment sections mirror society as a whole. Or not.

While people may feel These Mad Times are exceptional both in this blog comment section and in society as a whole, something is seriously lost. When we lose respect for others, we show we have already lost respect for ourselves. Civil society is lost.

So what. What does a comment section in a blog have to do with anything outside of it ?

What we do on a small scale ripples out into society as a whole. History is littered with horrific examples of what happens when "the other" is shown no respect nor accorded any dignity. Abu Ghraib is but the latest face of a beast in the mirror.

Something to think about. Or not.

The Heretik's picture
Posted by The Heretik on 6 March 2005 - 11:16am
The metamessage

As women, when we hear someone, especially a child, crying, our first instinct is to see what is wrong. How many of us with kids, or who have friends with kids, have heard a husband ask the wife to deal with a screaming child? Many, I'll bet. Women sort of grow up with this. Modern men are better at dealing with outbursts, but usually women are the first to cave in and deal with it.

If there is nothing physically wrong - for example,the child is merely in a bad mood - we suggest a diversion - television, other playmates, maybe the child is hungry or tired and therefor cranky and we deal with that. We tell the child we still love him/her and interact, for the child might be craving interaction, is all.

In the 1970's I was at an all-women's Conference at a small meeting place and two men got wind of this women's event and came to the door and demanded to be let in. They thundered, "we're people, too." (I'm not making this up.)

One of the organizers, and founder of a 1960's publication, quietly and rationally explained to them at the door, "this is a women's conference. We're discussing women's things." And abruptly, the two men gave up their interest. The implication was that we were discussing poopy diapers and knitting.

Men do not want to be ignored, yet as adults we have to look past what is happening. If I see a post is a tirade, or plain silly, I just skip over it.

I close with a true story. My father-in-law told me this one. Brenda, my sister-in-law, was four. She had an invisible playmate she called Jesus. (Again, I'm not making this up). One day Brenda came in the house sobbing. "What's wrong?" Tears coming down her cheeks, she sobbed, "Jesus is on the swing and he won't let me have a turn!"

More to the point, I say we stay on track and if someone says something silly or over the top, let's not forget we pro-choice people can choose to not read what is not productive.

Matsu's picture
Posted by Matsu on 6 March 2005 - 5:47am
My final word on all this. I

My final word on all this. I half-facetiously suggested Mediagirl ignore Mr Byron's ramblings,("...very silly person...") then promptly fell into the trap I warned against. Perhaps "evil fucking lie" was over the top as well as imprecise, but domestic violance is a subject I'm very passionate about, in part because I was in a long-term relationship with a person who was a victim in a previous relationship.

I do sincerely apologize for being sucked into this foolishness & for letting my anger get the best of me.

blue rebel's picture
Posted by blue rebel (not verified) on 6 March 2005 - 7:59am