I just saw "Waiting" yesterday, a movie about one shift in the restaurant bizness. It was dead-on, but there was one scene that particularly resonates with me today.

A "redneck" and his woman are approached by the waiter for the drink order and he orders 2 shots and "what the hell, a coke for her".

It's insulting and ass-backwards way of thinking and living, but it's not only the *redneck* persona, dressed in ripped jeans and plaid and who answers the door later in his underwear. I've seen it in equal measure amoung the businessman/yuppie/urban male who are supposed to be enlightened.

A "favorite" story is the couple whose drink order I attempt to take. The man orders alcohol for himself first and when I turn to the woman, he interrupts: "She can't drink, she's pregnant." Makes me want to smack him every time.

First of all, let her speak. I'm asking the lady who is a whole other person and you don't need to suddenly step in and protect her from the evil alcohol pushing waitress. I'm pretty sure she can handle me. Second, it's not my fucking business that she's pregnant, she can order whatever she wants and third, I don't particularly believe some alcohol during a pregnancy is harmful. Before all those bar signs went up, women drank wine or some beer during the nine months and babies came out totally fine. It's the abuse, the over drinking that occurs every day, that causes fetal alcholism.

the funny is that I think the damage done to a fetus occurs during it's gestational and most vulnerable stage. and that's the time a woman is most likely to be unaware of her pregnancy and when she might be partying like it's 1999.

the other thing that really bothers me is when the partner goes out during the next 8 1/2 months and drinks the whole time. It's a slap in the face that woman has to immediately change everything in her lifestyle and the guy goes out and comes home with a shine on a couple times a week. Ha! Ha! Looky me, I can do this and you can't!
I know it's him hiding from his upcoming status, but it's also as though he has no responsibilites until the child is born. I've witnessed (and am witnessing) this behavior with many of my *enlightened* male friends and it pisses me off. You can't say, "We are pregnant", when we is one of you you and the other is behaving like a child. Show some class. You can give up alcohol too, you know. Participate in some way and respect your partner who has 95% of the burden.